Let's Get These Teen Hearts Beating Faster, Faster

Panic! At the Disco

With finals week beginning in a few days, the panic level my system is starting to experience is rising. I've been trying to study to chase those feelings away, but the way I see it, there's just not enough time, and I'll never be ready enough. But, I've got to swallow that negative thinking and press on! Use the ferocity of the blood pumping through my veins to drive me to get things done and be on top of my game!

This next week I think I've got to lay off the junk food; I've done too much nervous snacking already, especially with tonight's Drumstick ice cream. Music has been keeping me calm and sometimes awake (Train, Christmas songs, amongst other things no normal person should sing in public, especially during 24 hour quiet hours), and Hi-Chew has really been keeping my mouth occupied. I should chew gum instead; then it lasts.

I've just got to keep at the grinding stone, sharpening my blade of a mind to a point that I hope it will be at it's best, but not overdone and broken. Best of luck to everyone in this final week of the semester! We've come this far! I'm psyched. Yet panicked. Silly me. (:

I've spent too much sweet time with chemistry and hexagons (and triangles!) today, so I guess it's time to lend some love to NUMBAHS and integrals, which only God can really evaluate. Oh, the silly things the professors have drilled into me. I'm quite amused. Accents are also awesome. I'll speak in one in my dreams.

In case I lost my train of thought, where was it that we last left off? (Let's pick up, pick up).

It's a Rainy Day

But this music without words is making it okay. I made this mistake of going from Pandora to a search for piano music, to the spotting of the word cancer paired with My Chemical Romance, to a couple minutes of pain, and then a yanking of myself back to Pandora to soothe myself with my piano music station. It's such a dreary day outside (after all the rain last night and this morning), and the skies are nothing but grey, with no distinction of clouds at all. While only the left ear of my earphones is working, the effect of this song still echoes throughout my body. Like taking a drug given to relax the body, I'm prepped to absorb chemistry. And then math. Oh, the peace of repetition. I'm keeping this song looping on EndlessYouTube for now.

William Joseph: Once Upon a Love

Today Has Been a Pretty Good Day

Last night I attempted getting a jump start on next week's exams, in the form of making mini flash cards from the two powerpoints for Hawaiian Studies. I also had an entertaining few rounds of Blokus in a Christmas light lit room with Annie and Megan, followed by a little consumption of candy (Jolly Ranchers and chocolate), the singing of Spongebob songs (the FUN song and the Campfire Song Song), and the singing of Christmas songs. It was nice. Crazy (as in, it was a bad idea to open the door to the hallway at all), but nice.

Though I woke up slightly later than usual today... Everything turned out relaxing. I found a bunch of amusing material to read once exams have passed, worked a bit on my peer review (which I finished today when I got back). Left a little late to get to math early, but all was cool, as I somehow became a Pokemon who failed to listen to the commands of the one who captured me.

Math class! My last lecture class of the semester! We did an evaluation for Prof. Csordas. His introductory comments were quite amusing. I'm going to miss his personality, haha. Lots of people drew on their evaluation sheets (green, and for once, not multiple choice like all the other classes), and then we went over what will be on next week's exam. Then we were free, 45 minutes early, hehe. Then Bronson asked "So where do you guys want to eat lunch?" And somehow the four of us (Bronson, Corey, Grace and I) trekked over to Campus Center and down to Taco Bell, in which we somehow ended up eating part of their tacos. There is a finals study group special, that being 10 tacos for $10. They bought two of those and shared with us.... Oh the magnificence of kind people, soft tacos, taco sauce, talk of Rock Band, talk of next semester, talk of mat team/league, and talk of elementary school/high school. Waved hello to Bryson and Vincent, too. We exited through a door that wasn't really an exit, but just a passage to an outdoor eating area. However, we climbed down the hill and went our separate ways.

I got one of my lab books back from Bilger after searching for my TA, and finding him in the elevator, haha. After that I felt free... and pretty much was free. So here I have been at my computer, taking care of things and watching the Gift of Hope Charity Concert online. It was premium night and all four of us grabbed the same entree, hehe. My tummy is relaxed and my left ear, at least, has been filled with calming sounds and kind of bad jokes. It's good to see that SWE and SO are doing fine. It's also great that Mercy Ships is benefiting.

24 hour quiet hours are in effect, and I kind of feel the silence starting to weigh down on everything. That's okay. The pressure will push me to enter super study mode! I wish I could go to craft fair on Saturday, but I don't feel that's going to happen. Best of luck on finals to everyone!

When I Look at the Stars

I see someone else / When I look at the stars / I feel like myself. (Switchfoot)

My camera is far from the best, and the lights of the tower across of hours will never turn off at night, so this here picture of our Christmas lights isn't that great. Our decorations are kind of loud and obnoxious, hehe, in playful competition with Matt's. =D It was quite a task hanging these up, and I discovered that painter's tape won't stick to the window, so we put that roll of clear packing tape I bought to use. It was nice yesterday, just using it as the only light, doing math homework and chatting and all. It created a great ambiance (the word Claire used - my vocabulary in day-to-day life is still severely lacking). It'll definitely brighten up the 24 hour quiet hours, which go into effect tomorrow night.

Today was the last day of MWF classes. It came pretty quickly, meh? I did learn a lot in Hawaiian Studies and Anthropology. Not that what I'm going to learn is necessarily all going to stick, but they did both leave me with different perspectives. Organic Chem.... Still has my mind reeling and going in loops. Repetition. That is what studying has become for me. Lots of repetition. Its why my thoughts pretty much go nowhere, now, and I can't take things in new directions. My mind is stuck going round and round over and over again, breaking and forming epoxide and cyclic bromonium ions without end, hehe.

And can you believe it? Tomorrow is the last day of actual classes for us! Oh, great, my last class of this semester is math. What joy ^^;; The last class I'll actually be in, though, is chemistry. Yay for a Friday exam. Gotta get all the time to study that you can, eh?

Registration this morning was stressful, but in the end, it all went well. I will post up next semester's schedule later. I'm glad the lady in the Spanish Department office that I've talked to on the phone is so nice. I'm sorry to have bothered her again.

I should try taking a running start for these exams. Crossing fingers and aiming for the finish line! Taking some "breaks" along the way, of course, to snack and get fatter, and challenge my mind more with Blokus, or Tetris, and some other things. Which somehow reminds me, I need to return all these library books at some point. That's kind of an issue, hahaha. That large pile is still there, minus my brown-paper-bag-covered textbook.

Half of the Pocky, 1.5 bottles of Calpico, the 4 mini-breads w/cream custard inside, 4 out of 6 of the little bread snack thing that Becca likes, and 3/4 a bar of melon Hi-Chew are gone. Ohohoho. Yay for sweet, pretty, easy-to-share foods from Nijiya. Also, Annie and Megan bought me a package of strawberry/orange/green apple Hi-Chews, too XD. Yay sweetness!

I'll take a while to just stare at the star and breathe.

Stars looking at a planet / Watching entropy and pain / And maybe start to wonder / How the chaos in our lives could  pass as sane...

It's Just the Price I Paid

Destiny is calling me / Open up my eager eyes / 'Cause I'm Mr. Brightside (The Killers)

The things I make to keep myself going. Especially since next week is exam week. Doom.

In my removal of my Converse and refusal to remove socks because of the cold, I ended up wearing my flats out of convenience, in walking around the hall to the bathroom, and back. Looks terrible, right, especially with my distressed jeans,eh?

Nijiya Market purchases

After class today, I walked to Nijiya Market with Becca (after talking with Kat for a while until she had to go to class). We bought lots of random Japanese snacks (as evidenced by the above picture), and then went to Curry House, where I had my lunch (and Becca had melon soda and some of my shirmp cutlet curry XD). Mmmm. Afterwards, we went to Bubbies for a little bit, where Becca got strawberry cheesecake, I got mocha chip, and we both shared some mochi ice cream. Too much food for one day, I think. There was a food tour group that came in while we were there, which was pretty neat, I think. Let's go someday, haha! Then we won't have to drive ourselves around the island!

Concert time in a few hours. Last night's rehearsal ran pretty late, but hopefully that mean's today will go well! We definitely improved from last week, thankfully.

This past weekend:
Saturday: Moanalua High School winter concert:AWESOME. The chorus/concert choir always makes me smile. And SO, you guys are doing well and are amazing. Congrats. Much love. SWE's zombie dance was great, and I kind of teared up when I heard the "I'll Be There" portion of the Michael Jackson medley. Great solos. Mr. Kubota makes me think of Matt Smith, and my chemistry lab TA from this past semester, combined.)
Sunday: Hawaii Youth Symphony winter concert. Everyone sounded amazing. Such a pleasure to listen to. Miss Hawaii emceeing was interesting. The piano soloist was quite charismatic. Twas pretty great sitting in the audience not having to worry about playing, haha. Though, after actually being onstage, it definitely gave me a different perspective.

One more concert for me today! I'm kind of relieved I no longer have to deal with the rush week of all the concerts being pushed together, hehe. Time to worry about exams, though. Here we go...

Much love!

And Don't Forget to Hold Back Your Thoughts and Live Like Robots

'Cause we all know what goes on / Reminisce on the memories 'cause we're gone / We're gone / So gone (Jonas Brothers)

Things are a little stressful and people aren't all in the best of moods or mental states, but I think despite all the sad things and whatnot, I should try to keep strong. Sad things are only beautiful from a distance, but distancing myself isn't going to make them less sad. And I can't really get away from it either, but that's okay. Just like I can't get away from the wind and the constant bouts of drizzle rain, that beat at the windows at night and make the drapes billow and sends whistles through the halls. Yes. Time for miscellany!

 It's the start of December, and I figure I could join in the spirit of things and bring some winter cheer to these last few weeks of school with these earrings that my grandmother gave me. Inexpensive, but quite shiny and fun to wear. Haven't felt this much weight on my ears in a while!

When I went home for Thanksgiving I finally relocated this card to keep the SD card slot on my laptop clean and closed, hehe. It was in such an easy-to-access place, too! =_=;;

As you can see... My habit for overdoing things without thinking ahead got the better of me when I was borrowing things for my paper, hehe. ^^;;

Remember that hand-turkey-making day that I wrote about? I finally took the time to take pictures. Time being just before I started writing this post, haha.

Made from the various scrap papers left after our turkey endeavor. DISCO PARTY TURKEY, yeah, time to get down an funky after Thanksgiving is over, yeah!

Claire's awesome hand turkeys!

My mad chemist turkey lost a fing-I mean, feather. Lab accident. Reaction? "Caffiene!"

Our full door! (So far =D)

On one of the days this past weekend when we got home, we opened the box of Pillsberry Crescent things that we had bought from Costco on sale and used them to not only make normal crescents, but these tiny ham wraps, using the instructions on the box for the little pigs in blankets. Now I know how Grace's mom makes such wonderful food to snack on!

These aren't fully grown, but my mother opened up another package of those wonderful, colorful magic water growing balls. It's pretty amusing just to see them grow, and to swirl them around. Hehe.

We're heading into the week before finals, meaning major study week, aka turn into a robot and constantly feed myself information and to shut out distractions and turn off emotions and desires. If this is the way to success, so be it! Besides, I'd very much rather to problems repetitively than have to write papers and do research. Sigh.

Also, I forgot. I have recently taken to the Hitchhiker's Guide's "DON'T PANIC." It is up on my refrigerator and on my manila folder filled with miscellany. That shall be my chant for the rest of the semester. That and CALM DOWN. Yeah. Forget FOCUS. It is not a matter of focusing problems. It is PANICKING and thus doing things to relieve that panic that occasionally pulls me off track. Here's to not panicking and coming out of everything well. Good luck!

Planning

So today I made a nice paper with my tentative schedule for Spring 2011. Don't worry; by the end there will be only one orange, one green, and one pink sticky note left on it. I've got my first choices and my backup days/times set up, and my preferences all set up. I'm also hoping that I do get into that physics class. Otherwise... I need to find some other class to take. I need to come up with backup classes, haha. I'm looking at English... but writing intensive doesn't sound so nice in addition to my science classes. And who knows what the workload in anthropology will be. ^^;;

Speaking of ANTH, I've got a paper I should be working on. I really need someone to motivate me.

In other news, I watched the 11 episodes of Eden on the East on Funimation recently, after seeing the DVD available in Suncoast. It was interesting. Favorite character? Akira Takizawa, for sure, hehe. XD

I pray you shall continue to be a savior. Also, I found the video for the end theme very captivating. Love the medium. I especially love the portion when the hand comes out to hold the phone. The fact that their shadows are cut outs of them is lovely too. And the "bang bang" at the end.... <3

I've been having the crazy desire to continuously snack recently. I need someone here to stop me... Or to eat all the food in my junk drawer, hehe. On a bright note, strawberry banana yogurt is delicious in the morning!

Today was the last day for actually CHEM272 lab. It took longer than I had hoped it would (mostly we spent too much time waiting when things could have been done to fix it to make it go faster ;_; so silly). It was great, though. Polymers are interesting, especially in just making them. Nylon and polystyrene, man! The thionyl chloride was kind of scary, though. The evolution of sulfur dioxide and HCl gas was kind of troubling too, hehe. Oh well! No more accidentally squirting too much acetone on my hands when cleaning! No more fighting with syringes and trying to get to know equipment that  everyone else probably had chances getting to know in the year before! Oh well. Fume hood are amazing. So was my TA. I wish I could have him for a TA again next semester, despite difficulties in understanding what he was saying. XD

I am free. (: Chem lab was so stressful and frustrating this semester (not to mention LONG), but I think it just emphasized that chemistry is something I really do enjoy. Being methodical and following directions, but finding solutions, and knowing that there is a reason for everything that went wrong or right. I still have problems memorizing things (so much memorizing!), but understanding why things happened was so great. Difficult and demanding, but oh so neat. I admire my TA for his knowledge, hehe.

Anyway, focus focus focus. That is what it always comes to. Qin and the Incas, here I come!